


rub the tension out (of my heart)

by girlsonthetv



Series: akechi lives and is dating ryuji for some reason [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Canon, akechi is...pathetic, endgame spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 02:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11281956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsonthetv/pseuds/girlsonthetv
Summary: it's akechi's first birthday after he died. against his better judgement, he invites ryuji over.





	rub the tension out (of my heart)

**Author's Note:**

> this can be considered a sequel to making the best of the aftermath but you don't have to read that one to understand this one.

He realizes it's his birthday when he rolls out of bed (the couch) at noon and checks his phone. He feels even more pathetic than usual. No notifications - not even a text from Ryuji. He heaves a sigh and ignores a flicker of disappointment. 

He had just started to fix his brunch of instant noodles when his pity text arrived. He snatched his phone a bit quicker than someone who didn't care about Ryuji would have. He overlooked this and read the texts off his lock screen. 

weirdo: hey  
weirdo: it's your birthday  
weirdo: happy birthday

Akechi felt the primal urge to cry build in his throat and viciously snuffed it out with a bite of noodles. Birthdays had never been cause for celebration before, and they certainly weren't now. But he supposed they were for Ryuji. And Ryuji was texting him "happy birthday" because no matter how little he really knew about him, he still cared. About him.

There's that pre-cry ache again. Akechi ate some more noodles. 

weirdo: did you have any plans?  
weirdo: i guess not

Akechi snorted. He knew Ryuji wasn't the type for passive-aggressive jabs, and he probably genuinely felt bad for bringing it up. Nevertheless, he responded.

Me: i'll have you know I was going to go buy myself some cake  
weirdo: really?

No. But he was now.

weirdo: i didn't think you had cash  
Me: i do odd jobs  
weirdo: nice

He really did do odd jobs from time to time. It staved off the boredom and got him some extra money, and the people putting up ads didn't ask as many questions as job interviews did. He had saved up a good few thousand yen, due to not having much to spend it on, and cake was as good as anything else. 

Yeah. He was going to buy some cake. 

Something like happiness filled him up like he was a glass and someone was pouring liquid. 

/ 

Akechi stared at the cakes in the freezer at the convenience store and realized that he had a bit of a problem. 

There were more flavors of cake than he thought there were, and he didn't know what kind he wanted because he had never been allowed to eat cake and never felt any desire to, and he refused to waste his money on a cake he wouldn't like. 

He could always buy cigarettes. He knew which kind of those he liked. He had to pick some up anyway if he wanted to keep couchsurfing in the apartment he was at.

But he didn't want to buy a pack of light cigarettes. He was tired, so tired, even though he had woken up from a ten-hour sleep only an hour and a half ago. He was tired of food making him feel sick. He was dead, for Christ's sake. Nobody had their eyes on him anymore (and the thought made his stomach drop) - he was free to relax. 

But he couldn't. Maybe he never would be able to, with his body never fitting the way it should even off-camera, no matter how strict his diets were. Goro Akechi was never a real person, even before he died. His thoughts were static around the edges. 

He was disassociating in a convenience store. Fantastic. Life couldn't go much better.

He pulled out his phone and texted Ryuji.

Me: hey what kind of cake do you like  
weirdo: idk chocolate  
weirdo: why do you ask  
Me: trying to decide what kind to get  
weirdo: get the kind you like  
weirdo: unless you want me to come help you eat it

Akechi sighed, a mixture of emotions leaving with the exhale. He felt himself smile lightly.

Me: meet me at the corner store near Shibuya. We'll walk to my place together.

It took Ryuji almost five minutes to respond, and for a second Akechi worried.

weirdo: sure man, meet you in five

No going back now. Akechi grabbed a chocolate cake from the freezer and a box of plastic utensils, and two cartons of regular cigarettes.

/

"I didn't know you smoked." Ryuji said immediately after he met him at the front of the corner store after five minutes and ten seconds. 

"Don't you know celebrities smoke lights?" Akechi said, bratty and embarassed this was even happening. He turned smartly on his heel and headed back towards the apartment. After a second or two Ryuji followed him. It wasn't a far walk to the apartment, so there wasn't any time for the silence to get awkward. 

Akechi shoved the door open. He didn't have a key, and didn't need one as the door was never locked. Instead, he left the light on so any robbers thought someone was home and didn't bother. He explained this to Ryuji who looked like he thought that was bull.

"Besides, it's not like there's anything worth stealing in this shithole." Akechi said as he put the cake box down on the coffee table across from the couch. Both pieces of furniture looked like they had seen better days, and the wall-to-wall carpeting looked like it used to be white before fading to a musty sort of gray that really wasn't too bad looking. The whole place was roughly the size of a shoebox. 

Ryuji wisely stayed quiet as he moved to sit next to Akechi on the couch. They both reached for the cake box, and after a ten second stare-down Ryuji popped the box open. Akechi opened the box of utensils and took out a fork and took a bite straight from the cake as Ryuji looked on in horror. 

"You're not gonna...cut yourself a slice...?" Ryuji asked as Akechi savored the rich yet fluffy and light taste of storebought chocolate cake with white sugar splooge. He could see why Ryuji liked it. 

"Not hungry enough for a full slice." Akechi said as he took another bite, straight from the cake. "'S why I invited you over."

"You have a fridge, you could put the leftover in the fridge." 

"It'd get stale by the time I finished it."

Ryuji took on a sly grin. "You know, you can just admit you wanted to see me." 

Akechi sighed, extremely put-upon. "You get yourself a slice, or do what I'm apparently not supposed to do, just do whatever and don't talk." 

Ryuji ultimately employed Akechi's (superior) method of eating, as he wasn't in the mood to get his fingers sticky and Akechi had forgotten to get napkins. So they sat and grazed from the cake in silence, both of them wanting to say something to the other but not quite knowing how. 

Both of them wondered why the other hadn't made a move to touch them. They had gone out for brunch a few weeks ago and exchanged phone numbers, and chastely kissed each other just outside, in the shade of the awning, where no one could see them or yell at them. Yet they were treating each other like they were an acquaintance they didn't know very well. Though they supposed they really didn't know each other very well. 

"Hey-" Akechi said.

"So-" Ryuji said. 

They both fell silent. "You go." Akechi said.

"Are you just, like, squatting here?" Ryuji said, looking askance at the single double bed that was barely made. 

"No, a guy lives here." Akechi waved his hand dismissively. "I suck him off from time to time and buy him cigarettes and he lets me couchsurf."

"Oh." Ryuji muttered. 

"So that's why I was buying cigs." Akechi said. "You might wanna get out of here before one in the morning, that's when he gets home, and there's no guarantee he won't be mad." 

Ryuji nodded. "I wasn't really planning on sleeping over." 

"Well, good." Akechi said, flustered. 

Ryuji stared at Akechi for a minute, expression unreadable, before he shyly scooted a little closer, only a scant few centimeters keeping their thighs from touching.

"What are you doing." Akechi said tonelessly.

"I just wanna know what I am to you." Ryuji murmured. "We're dating, or we look like we are, but we aren't talking. You kissed me and then refused to text me back for weeks. Then out of the blue you invite me over to eat cake with you." Ryuji sighed as color rose in his cheeks.

"I guess what I'm trying to ask is if I can kiss you and not get slapped or screamed at."

Akechi turned toward Ryuji, noticing for the first time his blush, how he was staring at his lap, how close their hands were to holding.

Goro Akechi has done many selfish things, but the thing that takes the cake was leaning forward to kiss Ryuji, gently, sweetly, sucking the other boy's bottom lip into his mouth and grasping his hand tightly with his, placing his other hand on the back of Ryuji's neck. He felt Ryuji's other hand come up to his cheek and his palm smooth across the burn scars there, as if he could summon Captain Kidd, use Dia and make them fade away. 

"You don't deserve me." Akechi said after they broke apart with a soft sigh. "You deserve so much better than some pathetic son of a bitch couchsurfing on the wrong side of Shibuya." 

"I don't want anybody else." Ryuji murmured. "Not today." 

"I guess if you really want it," Akechi said, tears dripping from his eyes. "We could be boyfriends." 

Ryuji took him into his arms and hugged him tight and kissed his head once, softly, as if not wanting to test his luck. 

Akechi smiled into his shoulder, knowing that this fragile love wouldn't, couldn't last forever, but it was the best birthday present he ever had.


End file.
